(I’ll be discussing my views and opinions on feminism here. Most importantly I’ll be talking about HOW MUCH OF FEMINISM I THINK IS TOO MUCH. But then remember one man’s food is another man’s poison).
Oluchi gave birth to a baby girl last year June, that was her third child and her third girl. But when her husband was given the “GOODNEWS”, he sighed. He sighed. I remember Aunty Amara being so angry. She asked him “Who put it inside?”
Apparently, he is the only son and needs a boy child to complete his life.
I come from a family of FIVE GIRLS and ONE BOY. My dad makes it a point to tell my brother everyday : I HAVE FIVE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND I’LL MAKE SURE THEY ACHIEVE WHATEVER IT IS THEY WANT. SO REALLY IF YOU CHOOSE TO MISBEHAVE, JUST REMEMBER, I HAVE FIVE GIRLS.
Feminism is a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women.
Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women’s rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to promote bodily autonomy and integrity, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence.
I AM A FEMINIST.
And while we have so many definitions of this word, my best definition is that given by CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE. She said : Feminism should be an inclusive party. Feminism should be a party full of different feminisms.
I love what she said because feminism is more than financial independence for a woman. Feminism is more than equal pay at work. Feminism is more than a country wanting a Female President. To me it’s an umbrella term incorporating every single action taken to bring us closer to gender equality.
It is a very big umbrella with smaller umbrellas and that’s why when I’m talking feminism, I’m talking about little Amina who is being given away at age 13 to a man old enough to be her Great-grand father. When I’m talking feminism, I’m talking about that girl who was raped at gun point even when she told him she was on her period. I’m talking about that little Syrian BOY who is forced to fight and hold big guns to defend a cause he hasn’t fully come to understand. Yes, I talked about a Syrian Boy because I’m of the opinion that FEMINISM IS HUMANISM.
The point of Feminism is that women can choose for themselves how to lead their lives.
And so when a MAN tells me I’m BEAUTIFUL, I’ll smile, nod and say “Thank You”, because I AM BEAUTIFUL. But if a MAN tells me I smell SEDUCTIVE, I’ll take a very big offence to that, why the hell should a random guy tell me I smell seductive. I see it as a form of sexual harassment and trust me the FEMINIST in me will roar in a very raucous manner.
It’s very okay for the man to stray in a relationship because yeah THEY CAN DO THAT. And when a woman does that, it becomes, “that one is so cheap. Can’t keep herself.” So hell yeah, I AM A FEMINIST.
That being said, when I get married, I’m going to love and respect my husband 100%. His decisions would be taken with diligence, provided we get to weigh our options and choose what’s best. I’ll have my say and he will listen. Because at the end of the day HE IS MY HUSBAND. That doesn’t make me weak or reduce my worth.
‘Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take.’
‘Please love by giving and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence.’
Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take.
Few months ago on twitter there was a trend : #BeingFemaleInNigeria, and I must say we still have a long way to go.
See some below :
Saying that you’re a Feminist doesn’t imply that you agree with everything everyone thinks should happen. You may be dead opposed to reservations but still be a Feminist in your own way. Since it has such a loose definition, it’s entirely possible that it’s thrown around in a lot of contexts you don’t agree with.
I’ll leave you all with this:
A fellow Feminist said :
I wish that the moment a Nigerian woman opens her mouth and utters the words “I am not a feminist”, she would disappear and reappear as the fourteen year old sixth wife of a ninety year old man who insists on fucking her every day whether she likes it or not, with no employment prospects beyond domestic labour, ten children to feed, and nothing more than a primary school education.
Why would I wish such a horrible fate on (presumably) innocent Nigerian women who have done nothing to me?
Because, this, my dear Nigerian women is the alternative to the Feminism that you despise so much: Patriarchy...
Meanwhile, a 40-year-old carpenter told another court in Lagos to dissolve his marriage of five years after complaining that his in-laws often intervened when he was beating his wife.
A Nigerian court has recently granted a 57-year-old man a divorce on the premise that his wife was bringing him his meals too late at night.
Now really I don’t know their story. But if his sole reason is this food thing, then I strongly believe WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINISTS!
*****To Be Continued*****