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I worry a lot. About everything and when I say everything, I mean every single thing. I worry about money. I worry about my dad. I worry about my mum. I worry about my only brother. I worry about my four sisters. I worry about my grades. And I worry about my FUTURE – this is becoming a serious problem.
I worry that I won’t get a good job. I worry that I won’t be able to remember anything law related. I worry I won’t be able to write short stories or tell my stories the way I want to – which reminds me, what exactly is a good story?
I worry that paying for law school would be very difficult for my parents. I worry about the opinions of others – what they say or think about me (I’ve learnt to give zero fuck though but once in a while the worry pops up)
I worry that I am a mess and that my life is a complicated situation. I worry that no one would ever understand me. I worry that no one would be able to see the bundle of fear and anxiety that have placed their tents in my mind.

My worries eat me up like cancer from within. They pull my heart and tear my mind and soul. They make my eyes watery. They make me think myself into depression and so I wake up most mornings hating everyone who smiles at me.

I worry a lot.

Few weeks ago while observing my quiet time – with worry at the back of my mind as usual; I opened my devotional and saw these words and I knew they were for me…

Be careful (anxious) for nothing…
But in everything…
By prayer and supplication…
With Thanksgiving…
Let your requests…
Be made known…
Unto the Lord…
Phil 4:6

This passage of the Bible happens to be one of my favorite. Few years ago, my mum left the house for a program at the church and forgot to drop the key to her room with us. And then it began to rain heavily. It was our duty to run into her room and close the windows but sadly, she had the keys. I remember her coming back from church and running literally into the house. She searched in hurry for her keys, found them, opened the door and realized the windows were closed after all. With a great sigh of relief, she came to the room saying :

Be careful (anxious) for nothing…
But in everything…
By prayer and supplication…
With Thanksgiving…
Let your requests…
Be made known…
Unto the Lord…

That single experience, albeit trivial, marked the beginning of my love for that Bible passage.

And so flipping through my devotional and seeing those words gave me peace. I took a paper, scribbled down the passage and kept it beside my bed.
Few days later, I came across that same passage while reading my favorite morning book and I knew God was trying to tell me to TAKE A CHILL PILL because seriously I have anxiety issues.

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Hope for a woman's soul - Favorite morning book!

I’m learning….

To be careful for nothing….

To be anxious for nothing….

It’s difficult really. But I’m trying…

After all, who worry don ‘epp?

I’ve been writing a lot about books. I decided to write about this – take a break from the fictional world. I still owe you guys the reviews.

Thanks for reading. Do share, someone might need this.

(Oh! I recently started writing articles for Ibadan Insider. Please do well to stop by and read :
https://www.ibadaninsider.com/author/adrielonwukwe/. THANK YOU!)

Love xoxo

Adriel©2016

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