i am running into a new year
and the old years blow back
like a wind
that i catch in my hair
like strong fingers like
all my old promises and
it will be hard to let go
of what i said to myself
about myself
when i was fifteen and
twenty and twenty-one
even twenty-four but
i am running into a new year
and i beg what i love and
i leave to forgive me

—My tweaked version of Lucille Clifton’s poem.

I turned 25 on Wednesday, 27th March 2019. 25. A whole me. This new age came with the feeling of achievement blues. I felt I had not achieved anything. I felt and still feel like I am floating through life. Everyday I ask myself what value I am adding and what difference I am making.

The past one year has been overwhelming in all sense of the word. I finished from Law school and got called to the Nigerian bar. I traveled to Kwara State for the compulsory NYSC and ran away from camp after three days because the place was so horrible. I redeployed to Lagos State and began hunting for a Place of Primary Assignment and I found one. I had relationships that went sour.

Now, the normal me would have written about all of these experiences here. But I just couldn’t bring myself to write about anything. I do not even do my daily journal entries anymore.

Writers block or laziness? I will never know.

I guess this is my way of saying GOOD BYE to this blog and to you all amazing people that have followed me since 2013 – 2019. I began this blog in June 2013 and it has been a wonderful 6years of writing about my random thoughts and musings. I have made and met amazing friends through this blog and I have measured my growth in a way through the posts I made here. I will definitely come back to “blogging”. But for now, it is Good Bye.

I should stop here.

You can still follow me on INSTAGRAM – @THEAFROREADER – I share all of literary activities on there.

Good Bye (For Now)!

Love and Light!

Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe!