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9JA ISSUES

Things We Love (and hate) About Nigeria 

So we just celebrated our 57th year post-Independence from the British crown. In all sincerity, there is nothing to celebrate about Nigeria.

But we can celebrate MI, cos if this ain’t being Nigerian, I dunno what is!!! This is the Nigerian humour they warned you about!

I am writing this post from a hospital shed, sipping from a #100 bottle of coke and trying to tame my anger.  All students who are heading to the Nigeria Law School are usually made to run some medical tests. I begin Law school in few weeks (AFTER WAITING FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR – another reason why Nigeria is not worth celebrating). I have not had time to do mine up until today. This morning, I woke up early, got dressed and began my journey to the UNIVERSITY OF PORTHARCOURT TEACHING HOSPITAL. Lo and Behold, THEY WERE ON STRIKE! I was directed to go to BMH, the State Government’s Hospital; on getting there, I was told they were on strike too!!!! Can you believe that? Note that these two hospitals are on extreme ends. I literally had to do 360degrees turn under the hot sun. 

How does one celebrate a country that stresses you mentally? That literally makes you want to slide down a wall?

But we Nigerians have this suffering and smiling attitude. And so we always celebrate admist lack, poverty, sorrow and anguish. It is always in the little things. And these are some of the reasons we love NIGERIA: 

1) Small Chops:

I really do not know how small chops became part of our national identity. For me, my romance with small chops started this year. 

My hands. Holding one of the numerous plates of small chops I ate earlier this year

I interned at Ernst & Young Nigeria for nine months and I can’t count how many times I ate small chops. It was shared during birthdays, general meetings, thanksgiving sections etc. I was always looking forward to small chops.

In Nigeria, smallchops are what our abroad friends may call finger foods. A plate of small chops contains the following; Battered Fish, Mini Sausage Rolls, Snails, Peppered Gizzards, Barbecued Goat Meats (Asun), Puff Puffs and even some imported world recipes can be seen; Samosa and Spring Rolls.

So Yes! #TeamSmallChops

2) Ankara and Danshiki:

Sisters and I rocking the Danshiki

I never used to be crazy about ankara until I met CHINELO NWANGWU. I used to call it “Traditional”, but after many years of living in Ibadan and mixing up, ANKARA became a fav!!!

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie rocking this beautiful ANKARA
I got this beautiful piece from BALOGUN MARKET, Lagos. And incase you are wondering, I took this picture at the NIKE ART GALLERY!!! Every Nigerian has to visit this place.

3) Nigerian Memes and Sense of Humour:

I will just go ahead and explain this with some screenshots.

Even brands are not left out of this

Follow Instagram handles like Urbanyoobakrakstv for more!!!

4) Aba Made: The creativity and skill here is so raw. If only the government would move a quarter of its attention towards Aba. I still have a slippers I bought for #500 with a strong label – AZONTO!!! Meanwhile, the footwear I bought from the MAX store at IBADAN MALL has since been dead and buried. #BuyAba #BuyNairatogrowtheNaira

5) LAGOS TRAFFIC: You have to experience it! 

6) BOLE: I am forever loyal to BOLE. The one eaten in the Eastern and Southern part of Nigeria. I am not loyal to Boli, the one eaten in the Western part of Nigeria. It is very easy for a BOLIST to fall for BOLE. Most BLOEIST like me find it difficult falling for the BOLI. You get my drift? I think it is very insulting to even place both of them on the same pedestal. Loool! Like, who eats roasted plaintain with groundnuts biko? 

Plantain with groundnut, BOLI, above, is eaten in the West. The delicious meal below, is BOLE, eaten in the South.

In the South-West, boli is eaten like a snack but in the South-South it is A FULL MEAL, a balanced diet eaten with roasted yam, roasted fish, sauce and vegetables. 

Truth is, there is so much to love about Nigeria!!! So much!!! Our joy is contagious. Our diversity is amazing, we find ourselves everyday. We have a rich blend of culture. Religion – we love God so much! Is it our close-knit family members? Or the ability of Nigerians to price every single thing in the market? Is it Mama Put? (Shout to MAMA TEE – Balogun market. I mean, who 17th floor epp), JOLLOF RICE, WHITE RICE, DODO!!! 

Our BELLANAIJAWEDDINGS page on Instagram would make you want to get married ASAP!!!

We owe it to ourselves to make our immediate environment better. We can begin by shinning positive lights in our schools, work places, churches, places of worship.

The government has since failed us. There is no electricity, our educational system is epileptic etc etc. 

It is our collective responsibility to make the next 57 years count. We owe it to ourselves and to our children, even those yet unborn.

I mean, at the end of the day, you can’t blame a brother for wanting to have a healthy long distance relationship with Nigeria. Can ya?

Love and Light!

Chimamanda on Phyno’s Nme Nme.

 

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘There’s a self-righteousness to the ultra-left that’s hard for me to stomach.’ Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

Cathy of the BBC Radio Sunday Morning Show talked to Queen Chimamanda on music, feminism, growing up in Nigeria, religion, Catholicism, racism, depression etc.  Continue reading “Chimamanda on Phyno’s Nme Nme.”

What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?

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Thank God we do not look like our struggles…

What do you do when you feel lost? Do you just stand at the spot where you have found yourself? Do you go back from where you came? or do you just move forward?

I am this point in my life where I feel completely lost. I do not know if it is as a result of my moving to Lagos- a city that is terrifying, tiring and terrible at the same time. I also do not know if it is as a result of not loving something I thought I always needed. Continue reading “What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?”

THE DAY I SAW CHUMA NWOKOLO

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Barr. Chuma Nwokolo

I couldn’t hide the excitement on my face as I walked into the hall

Continue reading “THE DAY I SAW CHUMA NWOKOLO”

CHIMAMANDA THE FEMININE FEMINIST

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Chimamanda has been on the news. She has come to stay people! And every feature of her; from Vogue to the Dutch magazine has been a hit – “Back to Back”

Continue reading “CHIMAMANDA THE FEMININE FEMINIST”

A FEMINIST MANIFESTO

A new piece from Chimamanda…I must warn, THIS IS A VERRRYYY LONG READ!!!! SO GET READY. DO NOT BE DISTRACTED.

“DEAR IJEAWELE, OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS”
By Chimamanda Adichie

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My lover. Beyonce has got nothing on you. *sips lemonade*

Dear Ijeawele,

Continue reading “A FEMINIST MANIFESTO”

If You Don’t Like Someone’s Story, Write Your Own…

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There are things you read and get sad. There are things you read and get ANGRY. MAD. There are things you read that get you ANGRY and make you SAD at the same time and that is Disaster. It saddens me to see people open their mouth and spit out venom. Bile. Trash. Dirt.

Continue reading “If You Don’t Like Someone’s Story, Write Your Own…”

THE LEGAL DRAMA : FOLANKE SOLANKE

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Mrs. Folanke Solanke remains a great influence in my life. She is part of the Nigerian story and a woman of many firsts. A dear friend tagged me to this post on Facebook. And once again I was reminded of the reason I hold the first female SAN in high esteem. She cleared the path for women like me. Women like you. This may be the best thing you’ll read today. After all, there’s really nothing to celebrate about Nigeria. Read and Enjoy. Continue reading “THE LEGAL DRAMA : FOLANKE SOLANKE”

WE DO NOT WANT TELEPHONE TAXES

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My butterfly frames. Moved on from mother hen frames! Graduating in TWO MONTHS TIME!

Hey guys!

I got new glasses today. I was always having this terrible headache, almost like a migraine and so I decided to visit the eye clinic.
Continue reading “WE DO NOT WANT TELEPHONE TAXES”

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