i am running into a new year and the old years blow back like a wind that i catch in my hair like strong fingers like all my old promises and it will be hard to let go of what i said to myself about myself when i was fifteen and twenty and twenty-one even twenty-four but i am running into a new year and i beg what i love and i leave to forgive me
—My tweaked version of Lucille Clifton’s poem.
I turned 25 on Wednesday, 27th March 2019. 25. A whole me. This new age came with the feeling of achievement blues. I felt I had not achieved anything. I felt and still feel like I am floating through life. Everyday I ask myself what value I am adding and what difference I am making.
The past one year has been overwhelming in all sense of the word. I finished from Law school and got called to the Nigerian bar. I traveled to Kwara State for the compulsory NYSC and ran away from camp after three days because the place was so horrible. I redeployed to Lagos State and began hunting for a Place of Primary Assignment and I found one. I had relationships that went sour.
Now, the normal me would have written about all of these experiences here. But I just couldn’t bring myself to write about anything. I do not even do my daily journal entries anymore.
Writers block or laziness? I will never know.
I guess this is my way of saying GOOD BYE to this blog and to you all amazing people that have followed me since 2013 – 2019. I began this blog in June 2013 and it has been a wonderful 6years of writing about my random thoughts and musings. I have made and met amazing friends through this blog and I have measured my growth in a way through the posts I made here. I will definitely come back to “blogging”. But for now, it is Good Bye.
I am sure a lot of us have devoured meals in their numbers!
Christmas is such an amazing season. The JOY that comes with celebrating the Birth of Christ is second to none and highly contagious – beautiful Christmas songs, new clothes, gifts, love, laughter, FOOD!!! etc.
Something happened in Church yesterday. I spent the Christmas eve at Owerri West LGA, Okolochi – my Aunty’s village. Continue reading “MERRY CHRISTMAS 2017”→
Christmas has changed over here. No one bothers about christmas clothes anymore, no one bothers about christmas hair. No one travels to the village anymore – You know, the typical Nigerian Igbo Family Christmas. Maybe it is because we are all grown up and have “better” things to worry about.
I for one, have one “better thing” to worry about. I have been trying to read and study so hard. The only I think about now is my BAR FINALS – which is in AUGUST!
But all these do not change the MEANING of CHRISTMAS. Christmas is all about Jesus Christ and a reminder that he came into this world for YOU. For me.
While studying this morning – I usually read with music – cool, calm, soothing music, especially in the wee hours of the morning – I listened to a new single from the HILLSONG – PEACE PROJECT CHRISTMAS ALBUM.
My favourite from the album is SEASONS. Powerful lyrics that spoke to me. And once again, I am reminded that God has not forgotten us. We all have our seasons and when it comes???
I will put down the lyrics and I hope you get INSPIRED and meditate on the words – for days when the things you prayed for are taking forever to become realities.
Words and Music by Chris Davenport, Benjamin Hastings & Ben Tan
Have you ever seen a Giant Sequoia?
I was a 12 year old boy in this awkward phase of discovering fashion, so naturally I was wearing this delightful salmon shirt that was as about as far from fashion as we were from Ireland.
Ireland is where I’m from by the way, but on this particular year the Hastings family had decided to vacation along the west Coast of California, and after a long winded winding drive, we found ourselves pulling into the glorious Eden of Yosemite National Park.
Have you ever been? You should. It’s your favourite Microsoft screensaver, but in real life.
We parked, threw our bags in this quaint, quirky inn and rushed out the door to explore a paradise of colour. The deepest greens you have ever seen, water falling in the bluest of blues and dirt trails of adventure and sepia tones that we ran until we ran out of breath. As my brother and I stopped to catch some air, giving our parents a chance to catch us, I remember slowly lifting my head and for the first time stretching my eyes across the grandeur of a Giant Sequoia. It was the biggest thing I had ever seen. Effortlessly scraping the sky, but as wide as the highway that had brought us here, and with my eyes in even wider wonder I stood; my neck stretched back as far as it would go, engulfed in shadow and ancient magnificence.
I wonder if you’ve ever had a similar moment. Perhaps gazing up at a monument of nature or the biggest man-made landmark in your hometown.
For me, when I look at something of such enormity, I can’t help but feel like it’s been there forever.
In Sydney we have The Harbour Bridge. A masterpiece of design and engineering which I have the joy of sitting upon, in traffic everyday (I guess if you’re gonna sit in traffic there are worse views). But I can’t get my mind around the idea that there was a time when it didn’t exist. It’s hard to imagine the Sydney Harbour without it and yet my wife’s Great Grandma Phyllis (105 and as cheeky as ever!) was already a teenager when it was first opened.
Ithink in the same way, I’ve sometimes viewed God’s promises like that. Maybe it’s just me, but have you ever looked at the fulfilment of His faithfulness in someone else’s life and wondered…
“Where’s my Harbour Bridge?”
“Where’s that wife I heard you whisper?”
“Where’s the materialisation of that thing I know you put in my heart?”
If there is anything I know to be true of God it’s that He’s true to His word. But He’s also very okay with the process. Was the Harbour Bridge airlifted into place? Well no… of course not… Even the three thousand year old Sequoia, was once a seed.
I think Jesus is the perfect example of this. In the Song ‘Seasons’ from ‘The Peace Project‘ there is a line that sings…
“You could have saved us in a second, instead you sent a Child”.
We serve a God of the “Long Game”. Does He have the capacity to airlift the Harbour Bridge of our promise into place? Of course He does! And sometimes, He does. But if we can attribute trends to God (which we probably can’t) I’ve noticed that God often chooses something else: “The Jesus Model”.
From Bethlehem’s soil
Grew Calvary’s Sequoia
He takes His Word and He plants it like a seed in our lives. Watching and watering until it grows and ever so slowly but inevitably blooms into glorious fulfilment. And I think if we look for it, this divine methodology is written into everything from the narrative of the Bible to the beauty of creation.
Oh how nature acquaints us
With the nature of Patience.
Visit the link below to enjoy the beauty that is this music:
Guess who is in Law School? Yours Truly. I am scared as hell.
I never applied for Bayelsa, Yenagoa campus. My roomate never applied for Bayelsa but got it too. I met a guy who filled : Abuja, Kano and Yola but who still got Bayelsa. So I was not alone in this sudden change of plans. I cried for a week and it did not help that my friends were not posted to Bayelsa.
Since my 400 level days as a Law undergraduate at the University of Ibadan, I have dreamt of being in Lagos Campus for two reasons;
a) I wanted the Lagos drill. I wanted the extreme stress of Lagos campus as I felt the stress was going to make me do better in school.
b) I wanted to be able to attend AKE FESTIVAL. I wanted to be close to all the literary activities in Lagos. I wanted to be close to KAWE BOOKCLUB.
But Life happens. And here I am, in Bayelsa, surrounded by large mosquitoes. Mosquitoes like bats.
In Bayelsa, you will learn that some things are compulsory necessities:
1) Mosiquto net
2) Long and thick trousers
These mosquitoes are not here to play. They are like bats. I found a dead mosquito in my indomie last night.
I have tried to compensate myself with the fact that I spent my gap year in Lagos interning at one of the best accounting and tax firms in the world and I have also tried to compensate myself with the hostel accomodation in Bayelsa campus. It is perfect albeit being five in a room. But there is still room for everyone to mind his or her business, the ensuite bathrooms and toilets and the tiled floors.
I am not quite impressed with the learning hall. It is quite small for the number of students, the seats are few and half of them are bad. They are actually not fit for purpose. At all. I made a comment about it and a lecturer replied saying:
Your senior colleagues spoilt it. You guys will have to pay the prize.
Sadly, law school is not a place to wear your cape of heorism and your Ned Stark cloak.
I talked to a senior friend about my fears and she told me:
Enjoy the process. Let your life and heart be richer for the experience.
Remember to laugh. Study hard but eat and sleep too. Follow the rules but dont be bullied, by the system or by its people.
Guard your mental health.
I cut her short telling her about my fears…the annoying grading system…and how I thought my brain was not that hot…
You don’t need be a hot brain, babe. You need to study consistently and take care of your health and know whats important in the big fat curriculum and most importantly, let God guide you.
Pray for me guys!!!
I have met some interesting people – people from Universities like Usman Dan Fodio and the University of Maiduguri. The blogger in me could not help but ask of their stories.
I have decided to create a category on my blog : STUDENTS OF NLS YENAGOA!!!
In this category, I would ask them questions about their lives, universities and one very important question : WHY LAW?!?
This question is important to me because I am quite indifferent to Law right now…and so I am hoping that maybe, just maybe…asking these questions and seeing law through the eyes of these people would stir something in me.
Because of the busy nature of law school, the interviews may not be published as often as I would want them to. But be rest assured, you would definitely read their stories.
It has been a while. Lagos has been doing me and I have been doing Lagos too. LOL!
I turned 23 on Monday. I am super grateful to God for the gift of life. I didn’t particularly have “fun”, but Mr. Biyi (A partner at the firm) had the good mind to take my friends and I for lunch at Eko Hotels.
Relaxing your hair is like being in prison. You’re caged in. Your hair rules you. You didn’t go running with Curt today because you don’t want to sweat out this straightness. You’re always battling to make your hair do what it wasn’t meant to do. – Americanah
Hey guys I am so excited! Chimamanda’s Americanah won the “ONE BOOK ONE NEW YORK PROGRAMME”.The One Book, One New York is the largest community reading program in the USA, bringing together book-loving New Yorkers to read the same book at the same time. The program was launched in February 2017 with quintessential New York flair, featuring five celebrities who each urged New Yorkers to vote for one of five award-winning books. Ultimately, the votes were tallied and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah was selected as the book all New Yorkers will read together.