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HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN – THE THIRD (LONG) LEG

In the month of October 2017, we read HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN by PETER ENAHORO in my book club – KAWEBOOKCLUB . We loved the humour and we decided to expand the stories by starting our own HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN SERIES – THE KAWE VERSION.  
I wrote this one. 
ENJOY!!! 

THE THIRD (LONG) LEG by Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe 




When God moulded man and gave him the breath of life, his plan was for everyone to have TWO LEGS. But on the seventh day while God rested, the Nigerians made for themselves THIRD LEGS! 
This THIRD LONG LEG is highly INVSIBLE. Can’t be seen but it moves and aligns everything. 
Having a Third Leg simply means to have connections in high places; to be close to the power house and this third long leg moves ONLY when there is a NEED!

*A typical Conversation*


Mr. A: So how Njideka take get PPA for that Hospital?


Mrs. B: That girl get leg o. Her papa leg long pass sef. 


Mr. A: Because I come dey fear. I just know say no be luck. 


Mrs. B: Na so we see am o




This third leg makes you realize that in Nigeria, opportunities for competition are circumscribed by unfavourable social and economic development and for many people; resort to unofficial channels is almost inevitable.

It is also important to note that another name for this THIRD LONG LEG is “GOD’S GRACE” and “THANK GOD O”
The Third Long Leg reveals its invisible cloak during National Youth Service Corps; postings of young people begin to change by “GOD’S GRACE” so that those who were intially posted to Adamawa end up in Lagos by “GOD’S MIRACULOUS HAND”.

During my Law school posting, I saw the manifestations of various third long legs. 60% Percent of my classmates who were to go Kano and Yola ended up in Abuja and Lagos. I asked them how they managed to do it and they all replied saying; “IT WAS GOD’S GRACE. I REALLY PRAYED ABOUT IT”

We all know they never pray and they never prayed. It was the invisible third leg working.

You can’t truly call yourself a TRUE NIGERIAN if you are lacking in the THIRD LONG DEPARTMENT because truth be told, IT IS A NECESSITY!

Visit the KAWE BOOK CLUB BLOG to read more HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN STORIES. If you are interested in sending your story on HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN, Please, drop a comment. 


Love and Light. 

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The Book Affair Series

Hello Everyone! 

If you have been following my blog posts then you will know I am a big fan of books and literature. And for me, one of the most beautiful things in life is finding people who love same thing as you do and getting to hear them talk about it.

I started THE BOOK AFFAIR SERIES as a way of getting fellow book lovers express their love for books. Who knows, our stories might influence others to become readers!!!

Book Affairs is a weekly series of essays where book lovers explore their unique relationships with books, the pivotal role books play in their lives and their love for all things literature. These essays that promise to be as intense as they are engaging will be published every Saturday. 

CLICK HERE to read the story of ROMEO ORIOGUN – Winner, 2017 Brunel African Poetry Prize

CLICK HERE to read the story of CHIAMAKA NWANGWU.

Genuinely looking forward to reading your essays. 

Send them to: theafroreader@gmail.com

And do not forget to visit and subscribe to – http://www.theafroreader.com

Love and Light! 

My 9mobile Interview : Life In The Bush Of Books

Hello Guys,

My weekend has been busy and that is because I have been preparing interview questions for some of my favourite poets. The interviews would be posted on the new website; http://www.theafroreader.com. I can’t wait for you guys to read them. 

I got featured on the 9mobile Blog. An interview series for book enthusiasts. I was asked in the interview about my favourite book, my favourite author, and I was also asked if Nigerians read! 

Over to you guys, Do you think Nigerians read??? What is your best African Novel or Nigerian Novel and WHY???? 

Now that I think about it, if I were to take a book for a journey it would be SECRECT LIVES OF BABA SEGI’S WIVES and DEAR IJAWELE by CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE!

Dear Ijawele would spark up a goid conversation!!!

Please click HERE to read all of it. 

And remember to SUBSCRIBE TO THE AFRO READER website. That way you get to receive all the posts in your mailbox!!!

Love and Light!

XX

Celebrating Americanah

Relaxing your hair is like being in prison. You’re caged in. Your hair rules you. You didn’t go running with Curt today because you don’t want to sweat out this straightness. You’re always battling to make your hair do what it wasn’t meant to do. – Americanah 

Shout out to my friend Akpo for going the extra mile – he bought this book for me  and made sure Aunty Chimamanda signed. He did  this in 2015 and I got it in 2016.  I read Americanah in 2013.

Hey guys I am so excited! Chimamanda’s Americanah won the “ONE BOOK ONE NEW YORK PROGRAMME”.The One Book, One New York is the largest community reading program in the USA, bringing together book-loving New Yorkers to read the same book at the same time. The program was launched in February 2017 with quintessential New York flair, featuring five celebrities who each urged New Yorkers to vote for one of five award-winning books. Ultimately, the votes were tallied and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah was selected as the book all New Yorkers will read together.

Continue reading “Celebrating Americanah”

MY GRANNY DAN CAME BACK TO ME!

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Hello Everyone!

Happy New Year! Haven’t posted anything since this year. I began interning at a wonderful place this January and I haven’t had time for myself. I wake up early and go to bed pretty late. Continue reading “MY GRANNY DAN CAME BACK TO ME!”

Imperialism-In-Artistry: Bob Dylan’s Nobel Win Is Proof Adichie Is Right about Beyonce.

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Written by Otosirieze Obi-Young and first published on http://www.brittlepaper.com.
This post is everything I discussed with my friends but couldn’t bring myself to write it down. I’m glad someone else did. Why I couldn’t wrap my head around those who attacked Adichie for her comments in the Dutch Magazine, I remember asking ; “If I write a novel about a ground-breaking discovery in physics, physiology or chemistry, does that make me eligible for the Nobel Win in same field?”

Continue reading “Imperialism-In-Artistry: Bob Dylan’s Nobel Win Is Proof Adichie Is Right about Beyonce.”

London Life. Lagos Living.

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I'll make a good photographer. It's not too late to buy me a NIKON!

I’m done with my first semester exams! I have two weeks to get lost in few books before the hustle and bustle of my final semester in the University Of Ibadan commences. Continue reading “London Life. Lagos Living.”

Because African Literature…

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THIS IS LIFE! FRESH AIR! EVERYTHING!

African Books Are Awesome.

Strike has finally been called off. I do not have the luxury to write about books or my random musings anymore. In fact, I’m writing this post from my reading table because I miss my blog! Took  a break from company law.
Continue reading “Because African Literature…”

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