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I AM DONE WITH THE NIGERIAN LAW SCHOOL!

It’s been forever people!

Guess who just finished from the Nigerian Law School?

I. The Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe.

Continue reading “I AM DONE WITH THE NIGERIAN LAW SCHOOL!”

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HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN – THE THIRD (LONG) LEG

In the month of October 2017, we read HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN by PETER ENAHORO in my book club – KAWEBOOKCLUB . We loved the humour and we decided to expand the stories by starting our own HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN SERIES – THE KAWE VERSION.  
I wrote this one. 
ENJOY!!! 

THE THIRD (LONG) LEG by Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe 




When God moulded man and gave him the breath of life, his plan was for everyone to have TWO LEGS. But on the seventh day while God rested, the Nigerians made for themselves THIRD LEGS! 
This THIRD LONG LEG is highly INVSIBLE. Can’t be seen but it moves and aligns everything. 
Having a Third Leg simply means to have connections in high places; to be close to the power house and this third long leg moves ONLY when there is a NEED!

*A typical Conversation*


Mr. A: So how Njideka take get PPA for that Hospital?


Mrs. B: That girl get leg o. Her papa leg long pass sef. 


Mr. A: Because I come dey fear. I just know say no be luck. 


Mrs. B: Na so we see am o




This third leg makes you realize that in Nigeria, opportunities for competition are circumscribed by unfavourable social and economic development and for many people; resort to unofficial channels is almost inevitable.

It is also important to note that another name for this THIRD LONG LEG is “GOD’S GRACE” and “THANK GOD O”
The Third Long Leg reveals its invisible cloak during National Youth Service Corps; postings of young people begin to change by “GOD’S GRACE” so that those who were intially posted to Adamawa end up in Lagos by “GOD’S MIRACULOUS HAND”.

During my Law school posting, I saw the manifestations of various third long legs. 60% Percent of my classmates who were to go Kano and Yola ended up in Abuja and Lagos. I asked them how they managed to do it and they all replied saying; “IT WAS GOD’S GRACE. I REALLY PRAYED ABOUT IT”

We all know they never pray and they never prayed. It was the invisible third leg working.

You can’t truly call yourself a TRUE NIGERIAN if you are lacking in the THIRD LONG DEPARTMENT because truth be told, IT IS A NECESSITY!

Visit the KAWE BOOK CLUB BLOG to read more HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN STORIES. If you are interested in sending your story on HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN, Please, drop a comment. 


Love and Light. 

Things We Love (and hate) About Nigeria 

So we just celebrated our 57th year post-Independence from the British crown. In all sincerity, there is nothing to celebrate about Nigeria.

But we can celebrate MI, cos if this ain’t being Nigerian, I dunno what is!!! This is the Nigerian humour they warned you about!

I am writing this post from a hospital shed, sipping from a #100 bottle of coke and trying to tame my anger.  All students who are heading to the Nigeria Law School are usually made to run some medical tests. I begin Law school in few weeks (AFTER WAITING FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR – another reason why Nigeria is not worth celebrating). I have not had time to do mine up until today. This morning, I woke up early, got dressed and began my journey to the UNIVERSITY OF PORTHARCOURT TEACHING HOSPITAL. Lo and Behold, THEY WERE ON STRIKE! I was directed to go to BMH, the State Government’s Hospital; on getting there, I was told they were on strike too!!!! Can you believe that? Note that these two hospitals are on extreme ends. I literally had to do 360degrees turn under the hot sun. 

How does one celebrate a country that stresses you mentally? That literally makes you want to slide down a wall?

But we Nigerians have this suffering and smiling attitude. And so we always celebrate admist lack, poverty, sorrow and anguish. It is always in the little things. And these are some of the reasons we love NIGERIA: 

1) Small Chops:

I really do not know how small chops became part of our national identity. For me, my romance with small chops started this year. 

My hands. Holding one of the numerous plates of small chops I ate earlier this year

I interned at Ernst & Young Nigeria for nine months and I can’t count how many times I ate small chops. It was shared during birthdays, general meetings, thanksgiving sections etc. I was always looking forward to small chops.

In Nigeria, smallchops are what our abroad friends may call finger foods. A plate of small chops contains the following; Battered Fish, Mini Sausage Rolls, Snails, Peppered Gizzards, Barbecued Goat Meats (Asun), Puff Puffs and even some imported world recipes can be seen; Samosa and Spring Rolls.

So Yes! #TeamSmallChops

2) Ankara and Danshiki:

Sisters and I rocking the Danshiki

I never used to be crazy about ankara until I met CHINELO NWANGWU. I used to call it “Traditional”, but after many years of living in Ibadan and mixing up, ANKARA became a fav!!!

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie rocking this beautiful ANKARA
I got this beautiful piece from BALOGUN MARKET, Lagos. And incase you are wondering, I took this picture at the NIKE ART GALLERY!!! Every Nigerian has to visit this place.

3) Nigerian Memes and Sense of Humour:

I will just go ahead and explain this with some screenshots.

Even brands are not left out of this

Follow Instagram handles like Urbanyoobakrakstv for more!!!

4) Aba Made: The creativity and skill here is so raw. If only the government would move a quarter of its attention towards Aba. I still have a slippers I bought for #500 with a strong label – AZONTO!!! Meanwhile, the footwear I bought from the MAX store at IBADAN MALL has since been dead and buried. #BuyAba #BuyNairatogrowtheNaira

5) LAGOS TRAFFIC: You have to experience it! 

6) BOLE: I am forever loyal to BOLE. The one eaten in the Eastern and Southern part of Nigeria. I am not loyal to Boli, the one eaten in the Western part of Nigeria. It is very easy for a BOLIST to fall for BOLE. Most BLOEIST like me find it difficult falling for the BOLI. You get my drift? I think it is very insulting to even place both of them on the same pedestal. Loool! Like, who eats roasted plaintain with groundnuts biko? 

Plantain with groundnut, BOLI, above, is eaten in the West. The delicious meal below, is BOLE, eaten in the South.

In the South-West, boli is eaten like a snack but in the South-South it is A FULL MEAL, a balanced diet eaten with roasted yam, roasted fish, sauce and vegetables. 

Truth is, there is so much to love about Nigeria!!! So much!!! Our joy is contagious. Our diversity is amazing, we find ourselves everyday. We have a rich blend of culture. Religion – we love God so much! Is it our close-knit family members? Or the ability of Nigerians to price every single thing in the market? Is it Mama Put? (Shout to MAMA TEE – Balogun market. I mean, who 17th floor epp), JOLLOF RICE, WHITE RICE, DODO!!! 

Our BELLANAIJAWEDDINGS page on Instagram would make you want to get married ASAP!!!

We owe it to ourselves to make our immediate environment better. We can begin by shinning positive lights in our schools, work places, churches, places of worship.

The government has since failed us. There is no electricity, our educational system is epileptic etc etc. 

It is our collective responsibility to make the next 57 years count. We owe it to ourselves and to our children, even those yet unborn.

I mean, at the end of the day, you can’t blame a brother for wanting to have a healthy long distance relationship with Nigeria. Can ya?

Love and Light!

23

bd 2017-03-27 at 4.05.08 PMHey Beautiful People,

It has been a while. Lagos has been doing me and I have been doing Lagos too. LOL!

I turned 23 on Monday. I am super grateful to God for the gift of life. I didn’t particularly have “fun”, but Mr. Biyi (A partner at the firm) had the good mind to take my friends and I for lunch at Eko Hotels.

PICTURES: Continue reading “23”

A word for this Lenten Season

photogrid_1488363885645It is the Lent Season, and I think it is perfect to emphasize this;

If you do not have anything nice to say to a person then do not say it at all.

It isn’t really difficult.

Especially when;

1) You are the superior (at work…)
2) You are older.
3) You haven’t really worked closely with this person.

A lot of people crumble beneath their skin because of words said to them by people who have no idea who they really are.

Some people inhale the harsh words of others and collapse psychologically.

People react differently.

Generally; formal and informal…stranger or acquaintance…we should do well to say nothing if we have nothing to say.

If you don’t have anything nice to say to a person then don’t talk at all.

If you don’t have anything to say to a person then don’t say it at all.

If you don’t have anything nice to say to a person then don’t talk at all.

In the Spirit of Lent, may we be meek. May our words be seasoned with grace.

Love and Light.

Adriel…xx

What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?

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Thank God we do not look like our struggles…

What do you do when you feel lost? Do you just stand at the spot where you have found yourself? Do you go back from where you came? or do you just move forward?

I am this point in my life where I feel completely lost. I do not know if it is as a result of my moving to Lagos- a city that is terrifying, tiring and terrible at the same time. I also do not know if it is as a result of not loving something I thought I always needed. Continue reading “What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?”

MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH PICTURES

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Graduation Portrait.

Beautiful people, It’s been a while. Merry Christmas!
Forgive my absence. I have been trying to get my life together; from graduation to a tax summer school and to preparations for a job interview. I’ll explain with loads of pictures.

Stay with me.
Continue reading “MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH PICTURES”

SELF-HARM

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Favim.com

It’s been a while. I spent the entire week belittling my self and my abilities. I spent it murmuring and complaining, whispering silent prayers and hoping.

Continue reading “SELF-HARM”

T for TRUPPR and F for FITNESS

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I woke up like that. Literally.

I love this picture.
Aside the fact that I look damn PRETTY AND CUTE, it reminds of how far I’ve come in my truppr journey. What started “halz a jolking stuffz” has turned into a full blown passion.

I remember my first truppr Run. One crazy 5km RUN, it was scary.

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My first Truppr Run. Can you spot me?

I never saw it necessary to do any fitness thing, I was literally pushed into it. After each run, I realized that I was always happier, I always feel all the “ADRIELNALINE” screaming at my senses and touching them at the same time.

I love the way my heart beats faster.
The rush of “ADRIELNALINE ” in my veins.
The way I breathe.
The way I pant so hard.
I love the heat that emanates from my body during the cold mornings.
The continuous gasping for breath.
The feeling of exhilaration when I meet my mark.
A bitter-sweet experience.
I dread it but I always look forward to it.

Recently, I graduated from the Saturday morning Truppr run to running/Jogging on my own every morning, especially when I don’t have early morning classes. I take long walks. The beauty of waking up every morning and taking long walks and runs can’t be over emphasized. It gives me some alone time to think and clear my head.

I work out. I do sit-ups, squats, crunches and what have you???!!!
Recently I read something where Muhammad Ali said “I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts.”

I started doing this and I must say “irris not ealzy.”

Being committed to this has also made me committed and dedicated in all other areas of my life. It has taught me DISCIPLINE.
I strive daily to be a better person.

And there are times when the temptation comes, like when I’m tempted to TAKE A BOTTLE OF COKE and sometimes I fall into this trap. But, Hey, I’m not where I used to be.

Anyways, these are some of my Truppr Pictures and just in case you are reading this and you are in IBADAN, OYO STATE, NIGERIA, feel free to stop by.

How I became a fitness junkie, I DO NOT KNOW!!!

So I did this Video of my friend and I after one of our 10km WALK. Click here to see.

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OK so the guy in the middle is EKEMINI!!! GOOD LORD knows nobody can keep up with HIM.
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No!!! Don't snap me

This post is dedicated to my dear friend PAUL ALASIRI, who just realized I was secretly in love with him – thanks to the weird Facebook app. Paul is also head of Truppr Run UI. This guy does 10km run like it’s nothing.

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Hello Paul!

And this post is also dedicated to my dearest roommate and friend who takes it upon herself to record my work-out sessions. I have no idea why.

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😘😍. Roommate. Friend. Sister

You never know how far you can go until you try. This also applies to every other area of your life. Keep trying. Never give up!
If you want to, you will find the time. If you don’t want to, you will find an excuse. JUST DO IT.

Find a Motivation. Stay Fit. Stay Healthy.

Remember, Excuses do not burn calories.

P/S : I’m interested in YOGA too. If you are reading this and you know some great sites for beginners, please feel free to drop a comment.
Love xoxo.

Adriel©2015.

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