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I AM DONE WITH THE NIGERIAN LAW SCHOOL!

It’s been forever people!

Guess who just finished from the Nigerian Law School?

I. The Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe.

Continue reading “I AM DONE WITH THE NIGERIAN LAW SCHOOL!”

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HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN – THE THIRD (LONG) LEG

In the month of October 2017, we read HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN by PETER ENAHORO in my book club – KAWEBOOKCLUB . We loved the humour and we decided to expand the stories by starting our own HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN SERIES – THE KAWE VERSION.  
I wrote this one. 
ENJOY!!! 

THE THIRD (LONG) LEG by Chimdinma Adriel Onwukwe 




When God moulded man and gave him the breath of life, his plan was for everyone to have TWO LEGS. But on the seventh day while God rested, the Nigerians made for themselves THIRD LEGS! 
This THIRD LONG LEG is highly INVSIBLE. Can’t be seen but it moves and aligns everything. 
Having a Third Leg simply means to have connections in high places; to be close to the power house and this third long leg moves ONLY when there is a NEED!

*A typical Conversation*


Mr. A: So how Njideka take get PPA for that Hospital?


Mrs. B: That girl get leg o. Her papa leg long pass sef. 


Mr. A: Because I come dey fear. I just know say no be luck. 


Mrs. B: Na so we see am o




This third leg makes you realize that in Nigeria, opportunities for competition are circumscribed by unfavourable social and economic development and for many people; resort to unofficial channels is almost inevitable.

It is also important to note that another name for this THIRD LONG LEG is “GOD’S GRACE” and “THANK GOD O”
The Third Long Leg reveals its invisible cloak during National Youth Service Corps; postings of young people begin to change by “GOD’S GRACE” so that those who were intially posted to Adamawa end up in Lagos by “GOD’S MIRACULOUS HAND”.

During my Law school posting, I saw the manifestations of various third long legs. 60% Percent of my classmates who were to go Kano and Yola ended up in Abuja and Lagos. I asked them how they managed to do it and they all replied saying; “IT WAS GOD’S GRACE. I REALLY PRAYED ABOUT IT”

We all know they never pray and they never prayed. It was the invisible third leg working.

You can’t truly call yourself a TRUE NIGERIAN if you are lacking in the THIRD LONG DEPARTMENT because truth be told, IT IS A NECESSITY!

Visit the KAWE BOOK CLUB BLOG to read more HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN STORIES. If you are interested in sending your story on HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN, Please, drop a comment. 


Love and Light. 

Nigerian Law School – Yenagoa Campus

Hey Guys! 

Guess who is in Law School? Yours Truly. I am scared as hell. 

I never applied for Bayelsa, Yenagoa campus. My roomate never applied for Bayelsa but got it too. I met a guy who filled : Abuja, Kano and Yola but who still got Bayelsa. So I was not alone in this sudden change of plans. I cried for a week and it did not help that my friends were not posted to Bayelsa. 

Since my 400 level days as a Law undergraduate at the University of Ibadan, I have dreamt of being in Lagos Campus for two reasons;

a) I wanted the Lagos drill. I wanted the extreme stress of Lagos campus as I felt the stress was going to make me do better in school.

b) I wanted to be able to attend AKE FESTIVAL. I wanted to be close to all the literary activities in Lagos. I wanted to be close to KAWE BOOKCLUB.

But Life happens. And here I am, in Bayelsa, surrounded by large mosquitoes. Mosquitoes like bats. 

In Bayelsa, you will learn that some things are compulsory necessities: 

1) Mosiquto net

2) Long and thick trousers

3) Socks

4) Handgloves

These mosquitoes are not here to play. They are like bats. I found a dead mosquito in my indomie last night. 

I have tried to compensate myself with the fact that I spent my gap year in Lagos interning at one of the best accounting and tax firms in the world and I have also tried to compensate myself with the hostel accomodation in Bayelsa campus. It is perfect albeit being five in a room. But there is still room for everyone to mind his or her business, the ensuite bathrooms and toilets and the tiled floors.

I am not quite impressed with the learning hall. It is quite small for the number of students, the seats are few and half of them are bad. They are actually not fit for purpose. At all. I made a comment about it and a lecturer replied saying:

Your senior colleagues spoilt it. You guys will have to pay the prize. 

Sadly, law school is not a place to wear your cape of heorism and your Ned Stark cloak. 

Second Day Of Induction

I talked to a senior friend about my fears and she told me: 

Chimdinma

Enjoy the process. Let your life and heart be richer for the experience.

Remember to laugh. Study hard but eat and sleep too. Follow the rules but dont be bullied, by the system or by its people.

Guard your mental health. 

I cut her short telling her about my fears…the annoying grading system…and how I thought my brain was not that hot…

She replied:

You don’t need be a hot brain, babe. You need to study consistently and take care of your health and know whats important in the big fat curriculum and most importantly, let God guide you.

Pray for me guys!!!

I have met some interesting people – people from Universities like Usman Dan Fodio and the University of Maiduguri. The blogger in me could not help but ask of their stories. 

I have decided to create a category on my blog : STUDENTS OF NLS YENAGOA!!!

In this category, I would ask them questions about their lives, universities and one very important question : WHY LAW?!?

This question is important to me because I am quite indifferent to Law right now…and so I am hoping that maybe, just maybe…asking these questions and seeing law through the eyes of these people would stir something in me. 

Because of the busy nature of law school, the interviews may not be published as often as I would want them to. But be rest assured, you would definitely read their stories. 

Wish me well guys…

Pray for me…

Love and Light…

Always!

Things We Love (and hate) About Nigeria 

So we just celebrated our 57th year post-Independence from the British crown. In all sincerity, there is nothing to celebrate about Nigeria.

But we can celebrate MI, cos if this ain’t being Nigerian, I dunno what is!!! This is the Nigerian humour they warned you about!

I am writing this post from a hospital shed, sipping from a #100 bottle of coke and trying to tame my anger.  All students who are heading to the Nigeria Law School are usually made to run some medical tests. I begin Law school in few weeks (AFTER WAITING FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR – another reason why Nigeria is not worth celebrating). I have not had time to do mine up until today. This morning, I woke up early, got dressed and began my journey to the UNIVERSITY OF PORTHARCOURT TEACHING HOSPITAL. Lo and Behold, THEY WERE ON STRIKE! I was directed to go to BMH, the State Government’s Hospital; on getting there, I was told they were on strike too!!!! Can you believe that? Note that these two hospitals are on extreme ends. I literally had to do 360degrees turn under the hot sun. 

How does one celebrate a country that stresses you mentally? That literally makes you want to slide down a wall?

But we Nigerians have this suffering and smiling attitude. And so we always celebrate admist lack, poverty, sorrow and anguish. It is always in the little things. And these are some of the reasons we love NIGERIA: 

1) Small Chops:

I really do not know how small chops became part of our national identity. For me, my romance with small chops started this year. 

My hands. Holding one of the numerous plates of small chops I ate earlier this year

I interned at Ernst & Young Nigeria for nine months and I can’t count how many times I ate small chops. It was shared during birthdays, general meetings, thanksgiving sections etc. I was always looking forward to small chops.

In Nigeria, smallchops are what our abroad friends may call finger foods. A plate of small chops contains the following; Battered Fish, Mini Sausage Rolls, Snails, Peppered Gizzards, Barbecued Goat Meats (Asun), Puff Puffs and even some imported world recipes can be seen; Samosa and Spring Rolls.

So Yes! #TeamSmallChops

2) Ankara and Danshiki:

Sisters and I rocking the Danshiki

I never used to be crazy about ankara until I met CHINELO NWANGWU. I used to call it “Traditional”, but after many years of living in Ibadan and mixing up, ANKARA became a fav!!!

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie rocking this beautiful ANKARA
I got this beautiful piece from BALOGUN MARKET, Lagos. And incase you are wondering, I took this picture at the NIKE ART GALLERY!!! Every Nigerian has to visit this place.

3) Nigerian Memes and Sense of Humour:

I will just go ahead and explain this with some screenshots.

Even brands are not left out of this

Follow Instagram handles like Urbanyoobakrakstv for more!!!

4) Aba Made: The creativity and skill here is so raw. If only the government would move a quarter of its attention towards Aba. I still have a slippers I bought for #500 with a strong label – AZONTO!!! Meanwhile, the footwear I bought from the MAX store at IBADAN MALL has since been dead and buried. #BuyAba #BuyNairatogrowtheNaira

5) LAGOS TRAFFIC: You have to experience it! 

6) BOLE: I am forever loyal to BOLE. The one eaten in the Eastern and Southern part of Nigeria. I am not loyal to Boli, the one eaten in the Western part of Nigeria. It is very easy for a BOLIST to fall for BOLE. Most BLOEIST like me find it difficult falling for the BOLI. You get my drift? I think it is very insulting to even place both of them on the same pedestal. Loool! Like, who eats roasted plaintain with groundnuts biko? 

Plantain with groundnut, BOLI, above, is eaten in the West. The delicious meal below, is BOLE, eaten in the South.

In the South-West, boli is eaten like a snack but in the South-South it is A FULL MEAL, a balanced diet eaten with roasted yam, roasted fish, sauce and vegetables. 

Truth is, there is so much to love about Nigeria!!! So much!!! Our joy is contagious. Our diversity is amazing, we find ourselves everyday. We have a rich blend of culture. Religion – we love God so much! Is it our close-knit family members? Or the ability of Nigerians to price every single thing in the market? Is it Mama Put? (Shout to MAMA TEE – Balogun market. I mean, who 17th floor epp), JOLLOF RICE, WHITE RICE, DODO!!! 

Our BELLANAIJAWEDDINGS page on Instagram would make you want to get married ASAP!!!

We owe it to ourselves to make our immediate environment better. We can begin by shinning positive lights in our schools, work places, churches, places of worship.

The government has since failed us. There is no electricity, our educational system is epileptic etc etc. 

It is our collective responsibility to make the next 57 years count. We owe it to ourselves and to our children, even those yet unborn.

I mean, at the end of the day, you can’t blame a brother for wanting to have a healthy long distance relationship with Nigeria. Can ya?

Love and Light!

BOOK READING : STAY WITH ME & TADUNO’S SONG.

WhatsApp Image 2017-05-15 at 6.38.30 AM

Hey Guys,

I have been wanting to post this but time and chance won’t just let me.

On the 14th Of May 2017, Patabah Bookstore hosted a book reading for Ayobami Adebayo’s Stay With Me and Odafe Atogun’s Taduno’s Song.

It was a wonderful experience. Continue reading “BOOK READING : STAY WITH ME & TADUNO’S SONG.”

See Who Got A Post-Birthday Gift

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I’m stalking writers and on-line book stores on Instagram when I say out loud “I really want to read this Stay With Me”. Chinelo, my friend, but technically my sister hears this and says “I’m getting it for your birthday”. Continue reading “See Who Got A Post-Birthday Gift”

Chimamanda on Phyno’s Nme Nme.

 

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘There’s a self-righteousness to the ultra-left that’s hard for me to stomach.’ Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

Cathy of the BBC Radio Sunday Morning Show talked to Queen Chimamanda on music, feminism, growing up in Nigeria, religion, Catholicism, racism, depression etc.  Continue reading “Chimamanda on Phyno’s Nme Nme.”

What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?

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Thank God we do not look like our struggles…

What do you do when you feel lost? Do you just stand at the spot where you have found yourself? Do you go back from where you came? or do you just move forward?

I am this point in my life where I feel completely lost. I do not know if it is as a result of my moving to Lagos- a city that is terrifying, tiring and terrible at the same time. I also do not know if it is as a result of not loving something I thought I always needed. Continue reading “What Do You Do When You Feel Lost?”

THE PARIS CLIMATE CHANGE AGREEMENT 2015: IMPLICATIONS FOR NIGERIA.

I am interested in a lot of legal things. Litigation isn’t one of them. I believe there is so much one can do with a law degree. This rigid litigation goal is quite choking. 

I am fascinated with International law, Energy and Environmental law and a little bit of Taxation and Revenue. I think there is so much that we can do in those regards. 

Picking a topic for my project was quite stressful. I thought about a lot of things and asked senior friends for help. Then one evening, I was in the sitting room watching the evening news and VIOLA! The inspiration to write about the Paris Climate Change Agreement came. 

With the help of a lecturer and a supervisor I was able to coin out the perfect topic. 

I have always loved Environmental law. Growing up, my dad had these video cassettes of the animal world and planet. He would make us watch and tell us intersting stories. Sometimes, my dad would go outside and just gaze at the stars. 

“God is beautiful” he would say. 

So I guess it was natural for me to waltz in and register for Environmental law as an elective in my 400level. I would go on to become the VICE PRESIDENT OF THE CLEAN EARTH SOCIETY, CLASS OF 2016. 

I’m actually sad that President Trump thinks Climate Change is a hoarse. Climate change is real and the faster we work towards saving our planet, the better for us all.

According to Independent.co.uk,

“A former climate change adviser to Donald Trump has said the US President will pull America out of the landmark Paris agreement and an executive order on the issue could come within “days”.

Myron Ebell, who took charge of Mr Trump’s Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) transition team, said the President was determined to undo policies pushed by Barack Obama to restrict greenhouse gas emissions.

He said the US would “clearly change its course on climate policy” under the new administration and claimed Mr Trump was “pretty clear that the problem or the crisis has been overblown and overstated”.

If the US pulls out, the developing countries would bear the grunt and the deal might end up failing completely.

My paternal granny indirectly gave me plenty stories. Everyday, i wish she had the opportunity to go to school. I wish she said NO to patriarchy. One day, I’ll tell her story. I have wings. And because of her I am. My Best Friend Stella Is always in my heart. I miss them. I wish they stayed much longer.

On the 12th of December 2015, 195 countries reached an agagreement by gathering in Paris to discuss a possible new global agreement on climate change, aimed at reducing global gas emissions and thus avoiding the threat of dangerous climate change.

The aim of my work was to examine the 2015 Paris Climate Change Agreement and its implication for Nigeria. The work also disussed key elements of the agreement, the legal status of the agreement and the structure of the agreement. The implications for the different sectors in Nigeria were critically discussed and recommendations were given.

Climate change is one of the environmental challenges of the 21st century. And so there is need for legal obligations to further ensure compliance of the Paris Climate Change Agreement. In conclusion, the future of climate change and the aim of the Paris Climate Change Agreement will all depend upon the legal approach taken by the Nigerian government. Having stricter measures and taking a legal approach while following the recommendations will reduce the impacts of climate change in Nigeria.

I wonder what the future holds for us. The burden is on the government to prioritize on investments that will make good use of the Paris Agreement Framework. Example, creating awareness on the use of solar panels. 

Love and Light. 

Adriel©2017

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