“Fine baby, kedu? I just read your blog. First let me apologise, for not reading it until now. That said, I am so very proud of you Chi. You’re so talented. I found the blogs both educating and intellectually stimulating. I see myself perusing your blog from now on. Please keep on writing and I’ll keep on reading.“
(Note from my childhood buddy, CHIZI…)
I wasn’t going to post until further notice, reason being that, I’m back to school and the semester is so busy. But then, things don’t always go the way we plan, right? Yeah, 100% Right! Chizi’s message sparked an inspiration for a new blog post. It reminded me of how far I’ve come.
I have one question for you guys : HOW MUCH OF YOURSELF HAVE YOU ABANDONED?
Life comes with uncertainties, surprises. Life does what it does – IT HAPPENS!
One of the major things I’ve learnt so far, is this: NEVER YOU ABANDON YOURSELF. It’s bad enough that people abandon you when you need them most, would you want to abandon yourself too?
Life comes with big shockers like I said earlier, but honey, succumbing to the shock and grenades of life won’t take you anywhere. YOU HAVE TO PICK YOURSELF UP.
Few months ago, I was at that point. I thought my life was already mapped out, but all of a sudden, the twist came. I felt my self slipping away gradually. I woke up one morning and said:
“CHIMDINMA, NO! THIS HAS TO STOP! PUT ALL THAT ANGER AND SADNESS INTO SOMETHING YOU LOVE. WRITE! WRITE!! WRITE!!!”
These screenshots may mean nothing to you, but they mean so much to me. Because, when I thought I was loosing my self, I found my self.
Just a few…
I love writing. I’m going to write a book before I’m 30. Yes. I had WRITERS BLOCK for MONTHS, I couldn’t scribble down anything. But the moment I made up my mind to channel my emotions into my writing, I couldn’t stop. And I’m not going to stop.
Apart from writing, I started following blogs, I made it a point to send e-mails to my favorite writers and bloggers, I asked them questions and will scream when I get THEIR REPLIES. I danced whenever I heard my favorite music playing (Just so you know, I’m a horrible dancer), I remember laughing so hard when I was reading for my Law Of Equity exams even though I didn’t understand a bit of it. I made new friends. My positivity was becoming INFECTIOUS. I don’t even get angry anymore, I don’t have strength. I simply LAUGH and move on.
I’m so glad I could WRITE away my pain. The comments have been so overwhelming.
I know I’m nothing close to some writers out there. I’m amateur. But the fact that I used my pain to bounce back is what amazes me. DO YOU KNOW THAT GREAT ART COMES FROM GREAT PAIN??? To discover something from a moment of joy, fear, shock, rage, empathy, appreciation, jealousy, suffering etc is to become an artist, is not to abandon yourself.
So it’s left for you : Drown in your sorrows or Rise above them.
And this brings me to RESILIENCE.
Resilience is the key. I remember screen-grabbing that word on my phone and looking at it all the time.
It is the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens. The ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.
Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude,optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and soldier on.
Some people have ongoing problems with depression and self-esteem. Because injury can be a source of power rather than disability, figuring out how to build resilience or to turn devastation to determination serves all. You become stronger. You think, “I’ve been through this. I can go through anything.”
One of my favorite writers said :
We often fear abandonment from our loved ones. And it sucks, it really does. But I’ve discovered, time and time again, that it’s just as devastating to abandon myself.
Each time I remember this, I move forward by bringing a little more of myself to the table. I become a little less afraid to let my entire self show up, flaws and selfishness and all.
Chiamaka Nwangwu will look at me all the time and say :
CHI NWANNEM, I LOVE YOUR SPIRIT. YOU ARE SO STRONG. I THINK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU HAS MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON AND I KNOW IT SUCKS TO GO THROUGH SUCH. BUT I LOVE THE PERSON YOU’VE BECOME. YOU ARE CHI VERSION 2.0… (they usually go on and on about it, lol…)
I was shocked when they started saying it – Chiamaka and Chinelo (Closest friends in school). But I get it now. I channeled my pain. I didn’t abandon my self. I picked my self up and dusted all the trash and negativity. And I’m still dusting. Never letting go of the most important thing – ME.
Channeling pain into strength is something only God Almighty can do for you. It’s a lifelong journey, for sure, it’s a daily struggle for me as well, but I intend to press on and I pray that you do too.
True nobility is being superior to your former self. With disappointments you can’t appreciate victory.
Life is one hot pot of beans like that…But do you throw the beans away when you are hungry? NO! YOU take your spoon. Eat. Wash the pot.
You may be going through something difficult now. Emotional issues, Examination issues, Challenges that you just can’t understand. But trust me, IT WILL BE FINE.
I love you. YES, YOU!!!
Thanks for Stopping by… XOXO!
Posts may not be regular. School is taking most of my time. But I’ll try my best to put up something, once a week or once in two weeks.